25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9

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25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9

People Skills More Important Than Technical Skills

I often coach and teach people that your ability to deal effectively with people contributes greater to your success than your technical ability, especially as a leader. This is supported in a recent survey listed in Training Magazine:

When training participants were asked about the types of courses that would greatly increase their effectiveness at work.

1. Leadership skills
2. Dealing with conflict or difficult people
3. Technical knowledge related to my job

http://www.trainingmag.com/msg/content_display/publications/e3idb69280d465a66a25701da301b2a2d11

People Skills More Important Than Technical Skills

The Platinum Rule

One of the top comments I get from managers and leaders I work with is, “Mark, today’s young people don’t have a work ethic”. My response to that is, YES they do, they just don’t have YOURS. If you are going to be an effective leader it means understanding how different generations think, how they communicate, what motivates THEM. Too many of us were brought up with the old Golden Rule mentality – Treat people the way you want to be treated. That is exactly the reason we have so many relationship and communication issues. Not everyone wants the same things as you or me.

In some organizations today we are dealing with three, four and even five generations. And then you factor in the four different personality/behavioral styles of the people in our lives. It’s important to be multi-lingual, and I don’t mean by ethnicity. To effectively lead people you must understand the wants, needs, desires and communication style of each generation and personality style, then speak THEIR language. It means dropping the golden rule and adopting the platinum rule – Treat people the way THEY want to be treated.

Feel free to contact me if you would like to learn more about personality styles or working with different generations. Here are a few helpful links for dealing with Generation Y (born between the years of 1982 and 2000 and are currently ages 7-26)

Managing Generation Y

Managing Generation Y as They Change the Workforce

Communicating with Twentysomethings

A Boomer's Guide to Communicating with Gen X and Gen Y

Gen Y v. Boomers: Generational Differences in Communication

The Platinum Rule

Dealing With Difficult People

It seems the past few weeks I have had a few clients want to talk about dealing with difficult people. Whether it is a customer, employee or boss difficult people can be hard to handle.

Here are a few tips that may help the conversation go a little smoother the next time you encounter a difficult person:

Stay focused on the situation, issue or the behavior, not the person.
It is easy to get pulled into focusing on the person. So examine your intention. Your intention will drive where you focus. If your intention is to get even for the way you were treated or to make sure you win, you will be focused on the person. Your goal is to stay focused on the issue or behavior not the person.

Pick the right place and time.
I have a belief that it is better to praise in public and criticizes in private. I also believe the timing is very important. If it is a big issue or going to have an impact on others, address it as soon as possible. Otherwise it might be better to wait until the other party has calmed down to address the issue.

Don't assume.
Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Ask questions to help you really identify the problem or discover what happened.

Prepare for defensiveness.
Whenever dealing with difficult people, it's important to anticipate that they may become defensive. It is also helpful for you not to take it personally when they do. Getting caught off guard could be a challenging situation. So anticipate how the other person might respond. Think through how you might respond if the other person gets angry and/or verbally attacks you.

10 Ways to Deal with People in Difficult Situations

Here are some suggested tips for handling difficult people. Use only the ones you feel comfortable with and you think will work with the person:

1. Keep the conversation focused on the issue, situation or the behavior not the person.
2. Make sure your non-verbal and verbal languages are congruent.
3. Try to talk with them during their best times of the day.
4. If a difficult issue must be discussed, speak with them in private.
5. Determine their STYLE of communications based on personality style. Then adjust your communicate accordingly.
6. PRACTICE - Rehearse before you interact by anticipating the reactions and preparing responses.
7. Set personal limits on what you will put up with and when merited share them.
8. Don't always take their remarks or dislikes personally.
9. Keep your cool! Keep a positive attitude and lead by example.
10.Remember you're in charge. Assess if it is possible to continue the discussion. If not, suggest continuing this conversation at a specified later time.

Dealing With Difficult People