Ever Wish You Could Say It Over?

Have you ever lay awake at night—almost all night—and replayed a conversation in your head over and over and over and over? For a long while, I thought I was the only one who did that. Then I heard others admit they did it, too. Then yesterday I heard a lawyer friend of mine admit the habit to a group of colleagues.

You hear the entire exchange in instant replay—but not exactly. Your part of the dialogue changes. You redraft your responses. They get better, wiser, funnier, more cavalier, spontaneous, more patient, firmer, less aggressive, more resigned. Finally, they’re tuned to perfection. Then you ache for the opportunity to redo the dialogue in real life.
Most of the time that second chance never comes around—at least, not in exactly the same circumstance with the same person. But that doesn’t mean the all-nighter wasn’t worth the thought. Why?

Success in all parts of life is about communication. A Google Search on the single word communication turns up 320,000,000 results. In the workplace alone, your success at almost any endeavor correlates to your ability to communicate well, so you—and I—need all the practice we can get.

In paging through a couple management publications that talk about workplace communication, for example, we learn to

· survive a “pile it on” boss and leave the office with a focused list of priorities
· improve relationships while negotiating
· give “full-circle” feedback
· deliver more persuasive presentations
· show more empathetic responses as we listen
· avoid bull-dozer tendencies when leading
· end a customer or client conversation
· lead a team to listen to each other more effectively
· keep better meeting notes
· create more engaging copy for a website
· make better use of time on the phone
· neutralize win-lose discussions without breaking relationships
· criticize to some effect
· persuade others to change their behavior
· polish a professional image
· receive honest feedback
· introduce change and make it palatable
· deliver bad news with hope that bolsters morale

Communication—all of it. Unless you climb poles to repair power lines or toss pizza all day, it’s difficult to think of doing many jobs that don’t require core communication skills. Communicate well and you can master a job, influence a team, persuade a boss, win a client, build a business, create wealth, serve humankind, and move from success to significance.
Communicate poorly and your life fills with stress and unresolved problems just as surely as if you tried to patch a flat tire with bubble gum.

Make make communication improvement a habit. With every conversation, every meeting, every presentation, analyze and evaluate: Ask yourself: What went wrong? What went well? Why? What could or should I have said differently? What is the communication lesson learned?

Ever Wish You Could Say It Over?