Dealing With Difficult People

It seems the past few weeks I have had a few clients want to talk about dealing with difficult people. Whether it is a customer, employee or boss difficult people can be hard to handle.

Here are a few tips that may help the conversation go a little smoother the next time you encounter a difficult person:

Stay focused on the situation, issue or the behavior, not the person.
It is easy to get pulled into focusing on the person. So examine your intention. Your intention will drive where you focus. If your intention is to get even for the way you were treated or to make sure you win, you will be focused on the person. Your goal is to stay focused on the issue or behavior not the person.

Pick the right place and time.
I have a belief that it is better to praise in public and criticizes in private. I also believe the timing is very important. If it is a big issue or going to have an impact on others, address it as soon as possible. Otherwise it might be better to wait until the other party has calmed down to address the issue.

Don't assume.
Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Ask questions to help you really identify the problem or discover what happened.

Prepare for defensiveness.
Whenever dealing with difficult people, it's important to anticipate that they may become defensive. It is also helpful for you not to take it personally when they do. Getting caught off guard could be a challenging situation. So anticipate how the other person might respond. Think through how you might respond if the other person gets angry and/or verbally attacks you.

10 Ways to Deal with People in Difficult Situations

Here are some suggested tips for handling difficult people. Use only the ones you feel comfortable with and you think will work with the person:

1. Keep the conversation focused on the issue, situation or the behavior not the person.
2. Make sure your non-verbal and verbal languages are congruent.
3. Try to talk with them during their best times of the day.
4. If a difficult issue must be discussed, speak with them in private.
5. Determine their STYLE of communications based on personality style. Then adjust your communicate accordingly.
6. PRACTICE - Rehearse before you interact by anticipating the reactions and preparing responses.
7. Set personal limits on what you will put up with and when merited share them.
8. Don't always take their remarks or dislikes personally.
9. Keep your cool! Keep a positive attitude and lead by example.
10.Remember you're in charge. Assess if it is possible to continue the discussion. If not, suggest continuing this conversation at a specified later time.

Dealing With Difficult People